Why doesn’t Jesus participate in Battle Raps? All his comebacks take three days..

Why can’t you tell Walter White a knock knock joke? Because he is the one who knocks.

Where did the general put his armies? In his sleevies.

Pokemon GO is trying to fix its servers… It’s not very effective.

My friend is always looking for trouble… Which is good because he’s a cop.

Chemistry, ok. But soulmates? You’d think if our spirits were perfectly matched, they’d be comfortable at the same thermostat setting.

me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It’s probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself.

I think it’s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song and called it “Maybe I am The Problem”.

What do you call a Chameleon that cant change colors? A reptile dysfunction…

Family size or very determined single person size?