My Grandpa got his tongue shot off in the war… But He never talks about it.

Galactus is about to eat our solar system when he flips over the label WARNING: CONTAINS MERCURY “No thanks, I’ll eat something else.”

Name please “Yo-Yo Ma” Your full name [quietly] “Yoghurt-Yoghurt Marmalade”

Police: Viagra on the Rise as Recreational Drug Amongst Urban Youth The Boys in the Hood are always hard.

I hit a can of bug spray with a hammer and my dad walked in the room. He caught me beating Off

i must be really good on the phone Whenever I call a company, they tell me they are going to use my call for training purposes.

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his nephew in the jungle? …

What did the dejected man say to the considerate calculator trying to console him? It’s the bot that counts.

What’s 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? OBAMA’S tie

The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Nun Impersonators