What do you call a midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large.

Q: What do you call a bunch of dead black people in a barn? A: Out dated farming equipment.

Goldman Sachs is trimming bonuses. Conan O’Brien’s payout is only $32 million. Anyone know where we can text-message our donations?

This fly I just killed in my apartment is more talented than every celebrity that tweets on this fucking site.

The awesome moment when you’re telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can always unscrew a light bulb.

Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was already taken.

I heard some new music today and I can’t be sure if I liked it or not. It was called Schrodinger Scat.

Seven days without Mexican food…. Makes Juan weak.

if formula for area of a circle is true, whats the shape of pi. square