God all I want is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t change me.

Yo momma so old…. She has a separate entrance for black men.

Who isn’t white or black but shows you no color? A Rod

Why has there never been a military dictatorship in America? Because they don’t have an American embassy over there.

You hear about the newswoman with one boob? She kept abreast of the current issues. (go easy…just made this up)

*tries to mount a horse* Horse: “I have a boyfriend.”

It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means… Jesus was a repost.

Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out?…He was already taking out a tooth

New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said “No” so I said SIRI ously

Why is the robot good at one night stands? Because he nuts and bolts.