At the risk of offending my fans, I finally bought an air conditioner

What You’re Saying with Your Drink Choice Lol

The teacher asked Jimmy “Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?” Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!’”

How do telegraph operators apologize? Remorse code

So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says “hey, why the wrong face?”

Reddit will end with not a bang, but a Pao.

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff? Baa-Dum-Sss

I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it.

I have a friend named “Chris Hoffman” I asked him to name his son Jack.

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won’t be allowed on this airline again