What does a racist baker exclaim? white flour!

Please help, my email isn’t twerking.. I think there is something cyrusly wrong.

I’m just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions…

I have 2 donuts: a secular one and a religious one. The secular one is solid. The religious one is holey.

Rhinos are really just old, fat unicorns. Don’t argue. U know i’m right.

The George Dubya Bush Presidential Library burned down… All three books were destroyed. Two of em hadn’t even been coloured in yet.

Why do people say “Be there or be square”? Because if you’re not there, then you’re not around.

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

I saw that you “liked” my status. You want me, don’t you?

My kids are really competing for least favorite today.