How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it to the couch.

Happy International Women’s day. Or a sad one. Or an angry one. Or a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women.

why did my wife didn’t like her jewellery? cuz she is a nazi

‘I like the smell of your meat’ may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch.

Do the right thing. Not right away, but like after you get called out.

Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won’t touch anything that’s not at least 10% off.

I think the government caused all the snow in the South Cause I’m Snowden

My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska. He pulled up short because he couldn’t get his Bering Strait.

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb? They love to watch mistakes being made.

On April Fools Day a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.