I sexually identify as a pansexual And I have a fetish for cast-iron

I visited a real graveyard this Halloween I logged back into Google Plus.

My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, “I WIN! I WIN!”

Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared.

Wanna hear a racist joke ? Donald Trump

What does a Spanish cow say? Muuuuuuuey!

What’s the difference between a dirty parking lot and a crab with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

One way to handle social anxiety is to pretend you are a ghost & people are staring at you because they have a gift they never asked for

What’s the number one comeback on r/Jokes? Riposte.

Yeah, I’m basically a Pokemaster. *waves vaguely at shelves of confused squirrels in partially sealed Tupperware containers*