If a bunch of nuns wanted to help small business, they could create their own small business writing business plans… And call it ‘Nun of Your Business’

I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don’t know if he was scared of what I’d do or thankful. Either way, amen.

Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania? Dracula’s dentist.

If you know someone who has too many kids, buy them a game of Jenga So they’ll learn to pull out

Gas goes in the butt and out the mouth – Cigarettes

my wife wouldn’t let me wear my pajama jeans to her awards luncheon thing because you can “see my balls through them” smh

I’ve just noticed my wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing She’s behind with the washing.

This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone.

What do vegan zombies eat? ~Graaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssss

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy’s call? This IRS guy sounded pretty into me