I love milk… It’s got lots of cowcium.

Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends? because they can’t protect their towers

Why do we hate making up gay jokes? Because it’s always a pain in the ass

How do you stop a woman giving you a blow job? Marry her.

Just watched a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I’d give it a 3.14

40% of Americans over 60 believe… … that they were at Woodstock.

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup.

Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes

My parents once sent me abroad for the summer I didn’t learn a thing from her.

At least I have all day sober to Sunday up…..