Late night phone convo BF: Ok you hang up GF: No, you hang up BF: No, you first GF: Nooo, you first NSA: Shut the fuck up and hang up already!

What do Germans look at on the internet? Danke memes

When my girlfriend and I decided to make it official, I told her: I have to tell you, before we met, I was… well…promiscuous. Oh cool she exclaimed. I love Greek mythology.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Why did Adele cross the road? Because she wanted to say: > Hello from the other side…

LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you’re an idiot.

10 Money Saving Tips (Joke) http://travelmediacafe.com/2014/11/18/10-money-saving-tips/

Is onamonapia…. umderstood by deaf people?

6 things should be common in a Girl and Tea. Should be hot. should be strong. should be sweet. adequate milk. should be ready in 5 minutes. And lastly, won’t let you sleep whole night 🙂

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open? Ten-ish