In my interview for the binman job, I asked if you needed any special training… The interviewer said “nah you just sort of pick it up as you go along”.

I’ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working…

My hamster died… He fell asleep at the wheel.

Two wind turbines are having a paddle 1: What’s your thoughts on renewable energy? 2: I’m a big fan.

I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa’s lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas… The more you know.

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. Benefits were good, but the parking was terrible.

What do my wife and my math teacher have in common? They both love to create problems that I am apparently supposed to solve.

What does “IDK” mean? I keep asking people, but they don’t know either.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes? Xu wong

Bad grammar is my biggest pet peeve Their is nothing else than pisses me off more then seeing people use it.