How does a physicist milk a cow? First, he assumes the cow is a sphere.

To help me get to sleep I’m counting miners.

Pretty unfair that sharks get a whole week and vampires only get a weekend.

You can lead a human to knowledge…. but you can’t make them think.

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use? Fi-Do!

Why did the chicken cross the road? **To kill its self** This is no joke **#CHICKENLIVESMATTER**

CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok…? Emotionally?

Lit a few candles after my power went out last night. My cat has been scared shitless ever since. Ever since I put the pussy on the chain wax

I broke my arm in a couple places; know what the doctor said? “Stay out of those places!”

I like my slaves how I like my coffee Free