Uncle Bill always gave 100% Son: How did he die Dad? Dad: He donated blood.

Walking down the street today someone handed me a free air guitar… No strings attached…

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers? The FIFA headquarters.

What do you do when you want to hold a bunny? You grabbit.

9/11 Jokes aren’t funny. The other 2 however, are hilarious!

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.

My Christmas tree isn’t the only thing that’s getting lit this time of year

*thumb wrapped in giant bandage* CW: Oh my God, what happened? Me: Never challenge a hitchhiker to a thumb war.

I entered an astronomy competition the other day… …I didn’t come first but I did get a constellation prize