The EU referendum I liken the EU referendum to being in a pitch black room with two men in a mandatory rape scenario with both of them telling you theirs is the smallest.

What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef.

If body builders religiously try to gain weight.. Does that mean they go to the gym for mass?

Why is 6 afraid of 7? ‘Cause 7 was a Registered Sex Offender.

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare? They’re practically non existent.

What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!

How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl? They said, “baby you’d look good if you got a pair of skinny genes”

Her: What do you do? Me: I drill for oil. G: That sounds interesting. M: No, it’s really… H: Don’t do it, I’ll leave M:…just boring

Knock knock? Who’s there? Come in. Come in who? Me.

Sneak into the employee bathroom at Target and make some violent alien noises, maybe leave a jellyfish in the toilet