Q: What country is ill? A: Germany.

Teach us About Absolute Zero! 0K!

I love you my friends and that’s not just the beer talking. It’s from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.

I played a blank CD full blast on repeat all night last night. The mime next door went nuts!

Guy says, “damn, there should be a law against having sex this good!” The girl said nothing, for the drugs had left her unconscious.

What’s the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds? Brexit

I guess if your a meth head You’ve only got one sleep until Christmas

ok honey, you’re going to love this movie. all you need to know is that “robocop” is short for “robot cop”

A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street… when they passed a little boy. The priest leans toward the rabbi and says, “Lets’s fuck him!” The rabbi asks, “Out of what?”

KING SOLOMON: I shall cut it in two, half for each of you. WOMAN: sure ME: OH GOD NO! KING SOLOMON: ok this is clearly your meatball sub.