Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!

What did the man without a voice box say?

What’s the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Give a fish a worm, he lives another day Teach a fish to worm, he becomes the best breakdancing fish around

What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don’t like my pizza burnt.

What happened to the cross-eyed circumcist? She got the sack

What do you call a man, with no arms or legs, in the middle of the ocean? fucked

I’m bad at misleading people Not

Do not judge a book by its cover, unless there’s a Swastika on the cover

Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?