Little Timmy lived in Flint But little Timmy is no more For what he thought was H2O Was PbSO4

Knock Knock Who’s there ? Cliff ! Cliff who ? Cliff hanger !

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I’d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.

Recently, a Catholic hair stylist made news traveling around slandering the pope and Catholicism, angering many members of the faith. The pope denounced him… calling him a “hair-a-tick”

Just a friendly reminder that the world supposedly ends in 73 days.

A Russian goes for an eye check up The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he’s my cousin.

You’re only as good as your last tweet.

Why isn’t Mexico in the Summer Olympics? Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.

I wish I could smack the stupid out of people and if you think this status is about you smack yourself for me!

How do you know if your sister is on her period? Your dad’s dick would taste like blood