Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because he was dead.

Pie are Round!!!!!! After the math teacher told the class that the area of a circle is r2, the Kentucky mountain man said: “Pie are not square! Pie are round! Cornbread are square!”

I don’t know why people always make such a fuss about how much a newborn weighs. It’s a baby, not a stash of cocaine.

The name Corey is short for Coriander. Coreys will try & tell you it’s not but they are lying.

What do you call a conversation at a proctologist meeting? Butt-Talks

Congratulations to my ice maker for winning my fridge’s annual “Ice Maker of the Year” award for the 4th straight year!

There is only one ideal dance partner & it is an empty apartment

I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they’ll open up a small demolition business together.

So we no longer say “please” and “thanks” in the office? Never got the memo. But I did get one saying it’s ok to key impolite people’s cars.

Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout Air in the hands motherstickers! This is a fuck up!