Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy.

Russia is invading Ukraine? US: “NATO my watch!”

I hate it when my teachers hit on me. It sucks being homeschooled.

What do a married guy and a single guy have in common? They both think the other one gets laid more.

A man tells his wife “Here’s your aspirin, my dear.” Wife: Why are you giving me an aspirin? I don’t have a headache. Man: Gotcha! Let’s fuck!

“Honey, can you bring me a roll of toilet paper?” Toilet paper- “I have a boyfriend”

How the hell did Charles Manson get like 16 people to murder for him? I can’t even get two kids to brush their teeth.

Friend: You’ll find love again. Me: STOP THREATENING ME

I really was gonna jog at the park today….but I just found an empty park bench so I’ll just have a few smokes and cheer the joggers on.

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store.