Why do people hit things (ex. TV, computer, etc.) when they don’t work? Well, it worked with the slaves.

Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site. I was honest with my review: “This telescope sucked. Two Stars.”

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE

If you’re drunk, you’re 3 sheets to the wind… …if you’re stoned, are you three papers to the wind?

I once had a job crushing cans. It was soda pressing.

What do you call an angry wind? A cross breeze.

Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies

Do the right thing today: Go to someone’s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.

Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They’re illeagle.

I present to you the world’s shortest poem, entitled “Fleas”. Adam had’em.