My mate died from a bad case of heartburn I can’t believe Gaviscone.

Whats better than winning gold at the paralympics? Having legs…..

Watching married couples argue in Bed Bath & Beyond is my Game of Thrones.

I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids… …So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed.

I’ll bet Vampire Kiddies enjoy scabs as much as human Kids love pudding skin

Be careful when you ROFL! I once heard a joke in a scissor factory… It left me in stitches.

I call my dick fun Because it’s what girls just want to have!

Squared My dick is X squared and I rooted your mom. Now she’s my X

I was going to organize a space-themed birthday party for my son… …but I couldn’t planet.

I was eating at an Indian restaurant when a homeless man came in and asked the girl behind the counter if they had any food he could have. She told him there was Naan.