Have you heard about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally.

How do New Zealanders practice safe sex? (NSFW) They paint a red X on the back of the sheep that kick.

Friends are like trees They fall after being hit multiple times with an axe.

What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store.

I just threw a snowball at a Smart car and its airbags deployed

what did the afraid triangle say to the circle that was about to beat him up? I’m very squared.

Have you ever been to an Amish party? Those guys really raise the roof!

What does a beef patty have in common with a blowjob? Both are better between 2 buns

What is small furry and smells like bacon ? A hamster !

if you wear a bikini instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will just think you’ve been swimming which is athletic not lazy