They used to be called “Jumpolines” …until your mom jumped on one back in 1972.

If she eats pizza with a fork, she isn’t going to like being bent over the dining room table.

The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you’re unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds.

How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier? The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!

How do cows go from one town to another? they cowmmute.

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs? An apology.

If you think you could never kill another human being, you haven’t met enough people.

hey can I use your bathroom? cashier: only paying customers jesus…ok just give me 9 double whoppers with cheese, a chocolate shake, 2-

Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized

what kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.