Def Leppard are a bunch of liars. I poured some sugar on a girl one time and it was a complete mess, she was not happy at all.

When my Girlfriend got pregnant… Everything changed… My name, My Address, My phone number, My email ID Everything…..

We’ve replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump’s speech with the names of IKEA furniture. Let’s see if he notices

What do all battered women have in common? They don’t listen.

How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool? Say “Get out of the pool.”

If there’s a god-shaped hole in all of us does that mean our poos come out in god’s image?

I’ve started replacing “yes” with “sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.”

What’s the difference between a group of midget spies and a women’s track team? One is a cunning group of runts.

Avoiding the use of French-derived words… Is not my forte.

TIFU by going to Jimmy John’s for lunch.. Whoops, wrong sub.