What’s the difference between a racist person and a racist skeleton? They both are insulting, but the skeleton doesn’t have any body to share racist jokes with!

My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous… The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

I slipped on some black ice yesterday… I thought it was regular ice until I realized my wallet was gone.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

what do you get when you mix 9th grade literature with alcohol? Tequila mockingbird.

My new thesaurus is truly awful! I honestly have no words to describe how angry I am!

The distance this fish swam… Is a SCALER not a vector.

What do u call a girl having no boyfriend?

What’s the difference between donald trump and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb? A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him