The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.

Q: Why are farmers cruel? A: They pull corn by the ears.

Republicans, don’t forget to set your clocks back 50 years

what is a woman to cant give birth? bruce jenner

Why does Game of Thrones always kill off its main characters? For the good of the watch.

Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else’s !

What do you call corn with a sense of humor? Laughing stalk

My dentist is hysterical:”just let me put the tip in. It won’t hurt. I have drugs to numb the pain” Ha. should go see him professionally!

YOLO You Only Love Owls.

Success is measured by how long it takes your boss to notice you’re not at your desk.