We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

What do call a white guy in a burning building? Fire cracker

Pineapple Jokes When is an apple not an apple?

You know what is intense? Camping. Is intense.

There is no ‘I’ in ‘Denial’

Nuts. When you have nuts on the wall they’re called walnuts. When you have nuts on your chest they’re called chestnuts. When you have nuts on your chin you’re called a cocksucker.

A Facebook friend posted 8 pictures of himself fixing a lawnmower, so I drove over and shot him. It just felt like the right thing to do.

There are three types of people… People who can count and people who can’t

Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before.

Guys! I demand you stop making jokes about 9/11! Its just plane wrong!