I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, “No, one drag is enough.”

Hey girl, are you Liam Neeson’s daughter? Because if so nvm

Two fish are in a tank One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”

A sexist, a racist and a homophobe walk into a bar Bartender: ‘What will it be, Mr Trump?’

*hops off a horse* alright buddy, your turn

What’s the difference between r/politics and r/liberal? None

A security camera caught a couple having sex in an elevator. …. They got off on the eighth floor…. then they straightened their clothing and exited the elevator on the 14th floor.

Whoever said, “there’s no place like home for the holidays” clearly hasn’t been to my house.

What’s something white people can call other white people but black people can’t call other black people? Dad.

Princess Peach: Something’s different. You seem taller. Luigi wearing Mario’s red overalls: No, nothing is different. It’sa me, Mario.