Advice from a 6 year old patient: “You should wear your stethoscope everywhere…girls will really like you. You look smart”

Did you hear that great joke about Schrodinger’s cat?

Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder.

What do you call a cow who has just had an abortion? De-calf-inated

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of it’s paws, a comma has a pause and the end of it’s clause.

I had the dream again, the one where I show up to a standardized test with a no.3 pencil.

What did the Buddhist say to the Hot-Dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Buffalo Snow Not to make light of a deadly situation, but if this storm and flood ends up wiping away Buffalo, my chicken wing collection is going to be worth a fortune.

New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One