I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? Because it had a bad driver! *drops mic*

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?? Cancer

Women have closets full of ‘I have nothing to wear.’

PRO TIP: Despite the name, never hand Krazy Glue to a crazy person…especially if you’re both naked & only have the hotel room for an hour.

Why should you bury indians 10 feet deep? Because deep down they’re good people

Did you hear the one about the 2 gay ghosts? They kept giving each other the willies!

heres a knock knock joke for you knocks nock nock. whos there dickey doo dickey doo who ya stomach sticks out further than ya dickey doo

What is a bed’s least favourite time of year? Spring break.

“Rock. Paper. Scissors.” – terrible surgeon

What’s the difference between England and Oscar Pistorius? England gets off scott-free.