I believe in “you’re stupid” at first sight.

Oh, I almost forgot; my mom told me to tell you guys hi.

*pokes sex life with a stick

So I heard the royal baby was 8 pounds. That’s awfully cheap for a human baby.

What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free

I couldn’t find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they’d seen it Apparently, she left me a few days ago

You know what they say about cliffhangers …

A friendly reminder to Republicans… …to set your clocks 60 years ahead and join the rest of us in the 21st century.

I bet the frankincense guy was all like, “Let’s put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us.”

What seperates black people and white people? The bars. Shoutout to my bud Treyvon for this joke from almost 7 years ago.