Remember when… … the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn’t drink the water in Mexico. And now…

The thing about statistics is, if you gather enough, you’ll find a coincidence.

What’s the tallest building in [insert your town/city here] The Library, it has the most stories……

What do dissecting a frog and explaining a joke on Reddit have in common? Both are shitty novelties.

The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it’s just never there when you need it .

Two drums and a cymbal jump off a cliff… Ba dum tss.

What do you call a prematurely born Chinese baby? Sudden Lee

If a British person calls 911 and says, “It’s a bloody mess” how does the operator know if there’s blood or the person is just being British

The fastest and most deadly land mammal is a woman who has noticed another woman flirting with her man.

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!