Two cannibals are eating a math teacher. Another approaches, and asks.. “Hey, can I have sum?”

What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn “o” into an “O”.

Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you.

I have a job crushing pop cans. It’s soda pressing.

‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’ is getting a sequel How to lose friends and alienate people.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest will blow you.

What happened when fire and the wheel were invented? People got lit and turnt.

I’m trying to get on your good side, but I haven’t found it yet.

What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it was pizza.