What is the most popular cheese in “the Upside Down”? Demogorgonzola

It’s bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting.

“Guess my nationality” the old man said Deducing from the man’s accent that he was Briish, the other man said so. “You’re correct, but where’s the t?” asked the man. “In the harbor”

You’ve got to hand it to blind prostitutes.

How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet. Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there’s no light inside the closet

I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day. Big mistake.

Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

The platypus is what happens when you take a perfectly good concept and send it to network executives for notes.

If you haven’t logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now.

To catch a grandpa, you must THINK like a grandpa *eats butterscotch candy, clicks on obvious spam email*