For everyone who’s looking, here’s a handy list of all the reasons to vote for Donald Trump: There aren’t any.

What do you call a cow with no sense of humor ? A feminist

What do you call a black pilot? You call him a pilot! you racist!

What did the hummingbird do to his girlfriend? He nectar!

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? To get to the dark side…

They say don’t go to a grocery store when you’re hungry But I ran out of food a week ago

So Jack helps you off the horse. Will you help Jack off the horse?

A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can’t even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble.

Native Americans are all pissed that we took their land when they were here first… ..but we made reservations.