What does JCPenny and teenagers have in common? Pants 50% off

What do you call a computer that can sing really well? A Dell.

I’ve written a book called, ‘How Not To Get Conned Out Of Your Money’. It’s available in all good bookshops priced 149.99.

Pirates used to wear eye patches because they had hooks for hands

Why did the Greeks want Helen back so bad? Are you kidding? She was the most beautiful woman in the world! Can you imagine what her sons would of looked like?

Jokes from a college student. How to use green, yellow, and pink in a sentence? The phone goes green, green, green, I pink it up, and say yellow.

I wonder who ate the first egg. Like who said, “I’m a eat the white ball that chicken just shit out.”

On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things Facebook changes, the courage to change the settings I can, and the wisdom to know it won’t make a difference.

What is Green…and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog’s Finger!!