Why is Phoenix such a great lawyer? Because he’s “Wright” all the time.

So two reddit mods walk into a bar… …ya think the second one would have seen it.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They’re orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

My sister’s a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she’s run over.

If two vegetarians are arguing Is it considered a beef?

Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats.

what is Ceasar’s slogan for his advertising company? Ceasar sell ads

What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I can’t jelly my dick into a girls ass.

What’s the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn’t let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records. It’s the vinyl countdown.