You can’t run through a campground, you can only ran Because it’s past tents

I can’t come tonight, couldn’t get a babysitter.. It is really difficult to get a babysitter when you don’t have any children.

Hey dude that invented the unicycle… Where were you wanting to go ? then not go, then go, then not go, then get bored and juggle

PRANK: ask someone what’s on their shirt and when they look down give them a perm

What is a computer virus? A terminal illness.

I like my coffee like I like my wives, From a third world country at a reasonable price.

[outside a blazing house] Firefighter: … Me: … Firefighter: … Me: … There was a spider.

It’s an age-old question, but which came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster.

GUIDE TO BEING BATMAN: 1. Lose parents, inherit everything 2. Let people get murdered 3. Never murder the Joker cause he’s the best at puns

My Asian friend came out .. My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said “Dad I’m gay” . His dad after being angry for a moment said, “why not Gay+”