Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners? Because usually they’re stuck with reservations.

will somebody tell my friend its spelled “gif” not “gf” and its not special that he has one, i have like 400 on my computer

I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.

Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.

I’m not the man you’d hoped for or even the man you wanted me to be. Perhaps you should have just once seen in me, the man I am.

Daughter: Here you go! Me: You’re my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote.

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks I’ll just have a sliver !

What are french journalists good at catching? Bullets.

If a hobbit were to bake a hairstyle, what would he make it out of? Frodo

Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum? Coz ‘e-mmental!