You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow!

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? Patty O’Furniture.

A blind person walks in to a bar.

Why sugars are very unhappy these days? It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!

Smart Students 😀 😛 Question asked by a Student.! If a single Teacher cant Teach us all subjects, then.. how could you expect a single student to Learn All subjects.??

Always stand up for what you believe in, unless what you believe in is sitting down.

When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs!

“We stopped making the style of jeans that fit you perfectly right after you bought your first pair.” -Every store ever

Why wouldn’t the bird let her chicks go near the pig pen? She didn’t want the pigs eating shredded tweet.