Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife’s yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!

Growing up, I always wanted to be someone. Now that I’m old, I’ve realised I should have been more specific.

The difference between polygamy and monogamy. Polygamy is having too many wives, but monogamy is having one wife too many.

Why did the blind kid fail geometry? He didnt see the point.

What’s the difference between firewood and a jew? The firewood ain’t been turned into ash yet.

At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think “I wish I could be a shark”.

WHY IS ASS RED BECASUE MY DAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR AND FUCKED MY ASS TILL IT WAS RED YOU FUCKING RETARDS

Wow, this article looks awesome.*clicks link**finds out it’s a slideshow**throws computer out the window*

Why did everyone think that the proctologist was a great fighter? Because he was really good at talking shit….

What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!