In honor of the Olympics I suggest we start a synchronized drinking team….. Whose in?

Have you ever had an Ethiopian breakfast? Neither have they.

[OC] Alright, here’s my new year’s resolution… Stop being late

What is the best way to pass the time on Tatooine? Watch the Dagobah

What did the dinosaur say after the car crash? I’msosaurus

friend of mine collapsed while he was putting the washing out the other day and had to be rushed to hospital. He almost pegged it.

I love you all so much right now because alcohol.

I bought a Valentine’s Day card for everyone at our local Tourettes Society. It’s the thought that cunts!

Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight.

Thanks for putting your kid on the phone so he could say hi. It changed my life.