What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes? The A-Men

50 Cent Or as he’s known in Zimbabwe, 400,000,000 dollars.

I was going to buy tickets to see Michael McDonald in concert… …but I keep forgetting

I am a very kind and honest person. if I see an old lady trying to cross a street… …I will tell her she is old.

What am I? What has six tits and three teeth? The night shift at the Waffle House.

If mankind has learned one thing from human history, I’d be stunned.

My brother and I ran out of protein powder. I turned to him and said, “no whey…..” (true story)

What do you call an old person from Portugal? A portugeeser

I’ll be honest, the only time I’d ever want to be ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ would be if I was chasing them With an axe.

This isn’t a competition! -People who are losing