What does a college kid do when confronted by an evil spirit? He drinks it just like he drinks every other kind of spirit.

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!

I like my coffee like I like my women In two enormous cups

Iron Man is a super hero. Iron Woman is a command.

An interracial couple eating Cheerios and non-English speakers drinking Coke. We’re a Benghazi pizza commercial away from a Texas secession.

Half-Life 3’s release date.

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fuckin’ dick!

That new vet really screwed up my pig’s colonoscopy He’s pretty ham-fisted

Warning: Joke contains racism Racism

I’ve heard rumors that desperate prostitutes use Crest Toothpaste to reduce cavities.