We are all part of the ultimate statistic ten out of ten die.

What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome

Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor! My son John swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don’t panic. He’ll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!

Q. How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Nobody knows, there’s no light.

did you know you can tell how much a girl likes you by the position of their feet Chances are if her feet are next to her ears she really likes you.

Sex is not the answer… Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer

So many Jehovah’s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah’s Evidence.

a friend took Exlax and viagra at the same time… .. he didnt know if he was coming or going.

I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille…. …..I just love smell of campfires.

The problem with traveling into the future is that it’s hard to determine the date because newspapers no longer exist.