How can you tell if you have a high sperm count? If she has to chew before she swallows.

I always wanted to be self-confident. Well, look at me now. Actually, don’t.

I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that’s only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.

I feel sorry for Eazy-E He went from Straight outta Compton to Straight outta condoms before getting aids. I’m sorry.

Q. What is good for your soul but not your soles? A. Linedancing!

My wife is kind to strangers, she stopped an old lady from buying evaporated milk… …, and told her it was just an empty can.

What’s big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass? A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.

if a bee sting u, u get a lil pain but the bee dies so who really wins? “lol im OWNING all these bees” i say as i put my face in the beehive

The Bible is a fascinating book It’s fascinating how a book with so much sex and violence can be so boring

What’s the best insult you can tell someone?