At what age do kids stop remembering how often their parents are late picking them up from school because of online poker?

Why did the “M&M;” go to university? He wanted to become a “Smartie”

I had a difficult childhood… I was brought up by a couple of alcoholics. I called them my Foster’s parents.

Confucius say… …sex on beach is like American beer, very near water.

Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group. Because that is where the ISIS.

Sandwich walk into a bar/ The bartender said, sorry, we don’t serve food.

A skinny guy with a 6-pack is like a fat chick with t*ts. It doesn’t count

A father asked his son how baking school was going “I knead some dough.”

It would be funny if we discover there are inhabitants on the comet… they would be comedians.

“We’re still looking for a side project” Tornado: *raises hand* we could flip houses “We’ve been over this, it’s not what you think it is”