I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared Then it dawned on me….

How to Get There by Ridya Bike

Just in time for Christmas. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Teaching people that it is okay to make people outcasts for being different until that difference benefits someone since 1939.

[wife frustrated] “at least I didn’t hook up the toilet wrong and tell everyone it’s a bidet”

Cooking with Hitler Step 1. Turn on the gas

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale… I gave her some bread crumbs and left her in the forest.

What thinks the unthinkable? An ithe-berg

I kept pouring water on my Iphone.. because Siri won’t tell me where the terrorists are.

A frog can leap higher than a house ..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.

I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.