Don’t be ashamed of who you are That’s your parents’ job

The new strip club’s sign said ‘open to the public’. Until my friends stole the L.

My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn’t make the cut this year.

Two cows are in a pasture. The first cow says, “Moo.” The second cow says, “Damn, man… I was just about to say that!”

Q:Of the set; 689 and 986, which is larger? A) 689 B)986 C) Who cares, as long as they are having a good time!

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support soon people are going to think we’re nuts.

Kristen Stewart was raised by a pair of vacuum cleaners

There was a depressed sausage… he thought his life was THE WURST.

What does it say on Jerry Meyer-Cooper’s tomb stone? And who the fuck is that?

You really are the cat’s pajamas, and by that I mean you’re a stupid idea.